So its hard

When everyone like you the way you are , but you are unhappy with yourself. It seems like everytime I talk about losing weight, everyone says they like how I am now and why would I want to lose any weight. So it then become a battle, because for basically my entire life since the age of 9, I have been overweight. Now at the time my parents always said I would grow into to as I hadn’t had my growth spurt yet. But  I have been the same height since I have been 10 years old. Everytime I have tried to lose weight I have failed, and just make me more frustrated. I don’t know what I am doing wrong anymore, I’m just tired of always feeling this way. Everyone else would rather see my stay as I am, but the thing is that I have never been how I have ever wanted to be. I don’t want to be like this anymore, being overweight but I don’t know where to start anymore. I’m not doing this to hurt anyone, I just can’t keep staying like this. It hard most day to know that I get looked at for how I look because i’m overweight. I need help to get back on track, i just don’t know where to start. I see myself in the mirror and I hate myself, and that is just not a way to be. I want to be able to shop in whatever section I want to, not forced into a section due to size. I am ready to make a change, just not sure how I need to make it yet due to past failures. 2015 has to be my year.