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Reflection from the Big Girl on the mat

The gym is usually my happy place. A place where I am not judged for my size and weight but only my skill. I am used to in tournaments people not rolling with me due to my size and weight but not in the gym. I don’t understand why people do this in tournaments either. I don’t try to destroy my toys, even if I don’t like the person personally I won’t try to hurt them. I am very considerate when I am rolling with people smaller than me because I don’t want to hurt them to the point it disadvantages me at times.  So when someone dodges me and then says they only want to roll with with people their size it is a bit frustrating again.

I am 5 feet and about 250 pounds, there is no one at my gym that is my size. I don’t pick and choose who I roll with. There may be a person I avoid due to a past experience for them being too spastic, but after some time has passed I will try to roll with them again because people do change and get less spastic. But to flat out say I’m not going to roll with someone because of their size I find a bit disrespectful. Just because you are an average size and weight doesn’t mean you get to write off someone bigger than you. You can learn something from everyone,  just because your are getting smashed right now doesn’t mean that will be forever.

I will roll with whoever, I don’t care, I can learn something from everyone at the gym. From the newest white belt through black belt. I always learn something from whoever I roll with, it doesn’t matter if they are bigger and taller than me. It helps me get better.

Last night, the gym was not my happy place.  When people dodge me due to my size, for a moment it makes me want to quit. Why do I come back day after day to be the biggest female at the gym. To be avoided due to my size. But then i realize, im the one that will continue to get better and be willing to take any smashing given. I can stand tall  and say that I don’t avoid anyone on the mats.

The gym will continue to be my happy place. It one of the reason I still survive. And for those who wish not to roll with me, thats fine, there will always be a smaller person to smash you as well. 🙂

 

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Shout out to all of the people who have haven’t been afraid to roll with me.

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Ice Week in the South

So I’m been at home for the last 48 hours due to the ice storm that has covered most of the south. I haven’t left my house since Sunday where I actually spent most of the day in the bed because I was tired and worn out from not sleeping well over the last few weeks. So I took the day to catch up on my sleep.

Things that happened: I complete the Hot Chocolate 5K on Saturday morning in 50:31. It was freezing cold and I thought my toes were solid rocks when I started but I made a good pace. I still am working on picking up the speed, but I still have 10 weeks before my half marathon.

My training is going well, last week I ran my first 3 miles under 50 minutes. My goal is to get my mile under 15 minutes because that will put me on pace to finish the half marathon under the pace limits. That is my current goal.

In other news: my birthday is Thursday and I will be 25. There was a time in my life that I never thought I would make it to the age of 18 so to be here at 25 and enjoying life is awesome. I went thought a lot of pain and anger when I was younger so I am very happy to make to the age of 25 with all of the great fiends I have these days.

So my birthday wish this year is to have people donate to St. Jude as I am running the County Music Half Marathon as a St. Jude Hero. I want to thank Lynn M. T as she was my first donation to my  fundraiser. And I want to challenge everyone reading and wishing me Happy Birthday this week to donate on this ice storm week in Nashville.  You can donate here:   http://heroes.stjude.org/rachelleh

I have been sledging this week…and I also have an ice burn.

Until next time…

 

So its hard

When everyone like you the way you are , but you are unhappy with yourself. It seems like everytime I talk about losing weight, everyone says they like how I am now and why would I want to lose any weight. So it then become a battle, because for basically my entire life since the age of 9, I have been overweight. Now at the time my parents always said I would grow into to as I hadn’t had my growth spurt yet. But  I have been the same height since I have been 10 years old. Everytime I have tried to lose weight I have failed, and just make me more frustrated. I don’t know what I am doing wrong anymore, I’m just tired of always feeling this way. Everyone else would rather see my stay as I am, but the thing is that I have never been how I have ever wanted to be. I don’t want to be like this anymore, being overweight but I don’t know where to start anymore. I’m not doing this to hurt anyone, I just can’t keep staying like this. It hard most day to know that I get looked at for how I look because i’m overweight. I need help to get back on track, i just don’t know where to start. I see myself in the mirror and I hate myself, and that is just not a way to be. I want to be able to shop in whatever section I want to, not forced into a section due to size. I am ready to make a change, just not sure how I need to make it yet due to past failures. 2015 has to be my year.

Boston Open 2014

To say it was a whirlwind of a trip would be a understatement. I left Nashville at 6 p.m on Friday getting to Boston around 12 a.m. Ended up staying up until 3 a.m. And was up at 7:30 am on Saturday. I got to the Venue at 8 am because my teammate division was up first thing in the morning. My division wasn’t until the later in the day so I just chilled around and waited until an hour before my division was set to start. My division was supposed to start at 3:30 but ended up not getting started until 4:45. I was pumped and calm because I knew I had been training my butt off and needed to show it today.  My division was only 4 people deep. And my match was the second one. I was warmed up at the mats and ready to walk out. The girl that I went up against was at least 5’8 but wasn’t no big worried to me. I walk on to the mat and we start to battle. She tried to double leg me and I attacked back with a guillotine. And then the battle gets fuzzy from there. I didn’t win, but I fought hard. And for the first time I actually got advantages. I have learned so much and I keep getting better. A video of my fight is at this link : http://youtu.be/siQ1uHWVLzc I just keep getting better and will continue to keep on smashing.

Decisions

I don’t always make the right decisions but I try to make people happy. I may make one person happy but make a bunch more mad. Sometimes I make myself mad about my decision I make. Like today and every Monday for the past few weeks I have not when and trained due to being asked to do things with my significant other who doesn’t train and doesn’t get why I can’t just take a day off . When you are training to be a champion you train to be a champion every day. It’s hard to make the decision not to train to make them happy. Granted they work all weekend and I work during the week so it’s the only day we have really that I work from home and they are off. I would love to train 6 days a week, but can’t right now due to the circumstances. I love training I love my teammates but at the end of the day they aren’t the person I go home to at night. So if I have to sacrifice one day right now not to train hopefully the decision will be worth it in the long run. Only time will tell.

Team Training – 2014

This past Saturday, my Coach had his team training so his affiliates from across the country came to Nashville to train and prepare for the Pan Ams coming up in March. It was from 12 to 3 and it was awesome. This was my first time ever going to a training on this level, with so many people and having 10 girls on the mat at one time. It was a lot of fun and we started off by Coach doing promotions. Some people got stripes and a few people got new belts. There was actually a new black belt, but I couldn’t see who he was. Then we did 45 minutes of drilling, learning from different black belts. Some of the positions I learned worked great, others not so much due to my height or lack there of, but it was good training. Then we took a break for a few minutes before we started rolling. We then rolled for the next 2 hours, and for like the first 4 round of six minutes it was people who are going to Pan Ams. Then everyone else joined in after that, it was tough and I rolled with Blue and Purple belts which was awesome. I have come to the decision that I am just going to have to get contacts to continue rolling because my vision is decreased to a the point where I follow into the same traps because I can see. It was awesome to see how far our gym extends and to know that I am lucky to have black belts on the mats daily because not all gyms do.  It was good time and good training and I can’t wait for next year.

First Stripe

This has been a good week. This was my first week going to the competition class at 5 pm at the gym.  I had my schedule changed at work to let me get off earlier so I could make this class. On Tuesday, I really didn’t know what to expect because I had always just seen the tail end of the class. So I stretched and did some shrimping and watched for a few minutes. It was good to see how they flow in this class from the difference in the intro class. In this class is more about positioning than strength. Then we started rolling and switching partner every 6 minutes and that was fun because those have been the longest rolls I have been in. It was so much fun and exhausting at the same time.  It was good to be able to move like that. I then went to the no-gi class.

On Wednesday,  I didn’t go the competition class as I wanted to work on the machines and need to do a bit of thinking as well. But I did do the intro class. I learned how to do bow-and-arrow and that was awesome. I like finding things as a person with short arms and legs actually works well. Then I did the Ladies class and we had two black belts on the mat, both Shawn and Spyder were there and they were bouncing between judo and the Ladies BJJ class. So I got to get rolled by some people a lot lighter than me and and that was awesome.  They actually filped me over which was cool. I also got to roll with Spyder as well and we went over some of the same things we went over in the no-gi class. Some of the basic that are great to drill at any time at any belt. Then we did some positional sparing and because I was working with Spyder I had to go twice on the bottom with him which was hard but worth it and I was able to actually use the moves I had learned in class.

Then we all lined up at the end of class like at the end of every class, but this day was a bit different. Coach and spyder were talking and we were waiting in line. I wasn’t wearing my g;asses and we were all talking about how we didn’t die today. Then coach and Spyder walked over to us and gave us all stripes. Which meant I got my first stripe on my path to my blue belt. I was super excited about it and so appreciative of it. I didn’t think i deserved it,but it was awesome to know he thought I deserved it. I’m just going to keep going cause I’m a BJJ addict now and a true passion of mine now.

Hey Everyone….

So guess I should introduce myself. My name is Rachelle a.k.a  leprechaun and I started doing jiu jitsu back in September 2013 after finishing my masters degree . I knew that I need to start working out and I needed something that I would stick too. I had done Tae Kwon Do when I was younger for like 4 years and really enjoyed it and wanted to get back in some kind of Martial Arts, but didn’t want to go back down that road. I wanted some thing that was a little bit more physical so a friend told me about BJJ and so I was interested. I looked around and found a school near me and started in the trial period for 30 days. I was hooked from the first one one one session that I had and just wanted to keep going back day after day. I finally had found something that I wanted to do and was willing to do on a daily basis. I am now getting to a point where things are started to make sense and I am learning how to flow and move my body.

So I am starting a blog to track my progress on the mats and in my journey as well. So this blog will have a mix of things on it from competition results, to new moves that I have learned, to tips that I learned, to anything else I feel is relevant.  So stick around this should be a run ride and comment with who you are and how you found me.